My Daughter Is Dating a Jerk

What can a mother do to detour her daughter from remaining with a jerk of a boyfriend?

A radical father by the name of posted signs throughout a local college stating that he would pay $3,000 if someone would kill his 19-year-old daughter’s 33-year-old boyfriend. Now these actions are of great extreme. Honestly what do you do when your daughter is dating the wrong guy?

Most of us can remember when we were in love and a teenager. That old fling is probably on Facebook right now making his wife’s life miserable. But when you were a teenager, this guy could do no wrong. Things seemed perfect and there was no one in this world, not even mom or dad, who was going to break up the best thing that ever happened to you. And all along your parents knew this guy was a complete jerk.   

At the time most of us did not realize that this really cute boy didn't know how to treat us nor did he have a future, but we were so blinded by "love" that none of that mattered.  

Knowing that this guy was a complete jerk, your parents probably did either one of two things…

#1 Say nothing and hope that you figure it out that he’s a jerk on your own or         #2 Pushed you to leave him, which caused you to want him even more

Option #1, usually works. That's what I've heard even from my own mother. My mom told me a long time ago that if she had said something I would have just did everything to do the exact opposite of what she wanted. Which is probably true.  

Option #2, has lead many to end up marrying the jerk and later divorcing him. So be careful with this option if you choose this route.

Teenage daughters can become your best friend or a complete nightmare, but either way she’s still your daughter. And no mother wants to see their child get hurt or be led down the wrong path by some boy. So what does a mother do when her teenage daughter falls in love with someone who is completely wrong for her?

Katha Blackwell June 21, 2012 at 05:48 PM
Then follow your intuition. And be prepared for the outcomes that may come by bringing this man into your home.
Katha Blackwell June 21, 2012 at 05:55 PM
Let me rephrase my last statement and ask you a question. What is your intuition telling you to do?
Mom June 22, 2012 at 02:48 PM
My intuition is telling me one thing to not accept this relationship and to not welcome him into our home for fear it will last even longer.Our hands are tied since she is 25 although at this time seems to be acting more like a teenager. She also has her own home so its not like I can forbid her to see him.
Amy Erceg May 22, 2013 at 12:55 PM
My fourteen year old step,daughter is dating a jerk. had sex already. Reckons she is going to marry him. I try to talk to my husband about it., but he thinks if he forbid her seeing him she will run. Maybe but do we encourage it. The boy is 16 this year, was living with an aunt, didn't like his uncle. his mum and dad have split and don't see him much. He now lives with at mates house, somewhere that my husband doesn't know wher she is and she still is allowed to go to his house unsupervised after school, weekends. what do you do? I love my husband.His daughter has come to live with us, now a couple years. she is a gentle person who is really with wrong guy. he is flunking school, no where to go. I also worry about my children and my daughter who is 13. though she says she would never go that way she is and no one at their school approves what is happening. my step,daughter thinks we just not understand and are making things hard for her. maybe but its only because we care and see her making a huge mistake. My husband is concerned too and just hoping she moves on. ot. NOT a Good situation for all. Egg shells everywhere.
Katha Blackwell May 22, 2013 at 01:25 PM
Hi Amy, This is a complicated situation. On one hand you want to tell your step-daughter that this guy is not right for her and on the other hand your husband pointed out that if you all push her she'll run. Both of you make a good point. With this situation the love from a parent can greatly impact a bad relationship. Make sure your home is a loving place for your step-daughter any friction at home will cause her to want him more. This doesn't mean she gets to rule the house. By all means set boundaries and give rules, however setup opportunities for fun within your home for both of them. It's apparent that he needs some form of stability in his own life and maybe you and your husband are the example he needs in his life. Take the two of them out and talk with them. Get into their head and listen to what's in their heads. Maybe even your husband can take him out for a game or a local event. Don't give up hope all is not lost


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