Fearless Parenting

Can you say "No", when other parents are saying "Yes"?

Last week, I went to a mom's event that provided childcare. This wasn't my first time there, but it was the first time I had ever brought my daughter with me. When I walked into the childcare room it was completely different from what I expected and I didn't feel good about leaving her there at all. So I thought, well let's see how Ellie Belly responds and if she's okay. There were children of various ages in one room and at the time there was only one teacher, I felt apprehensive about leaving her so I took her in myself. The teacher was encouraging me to sneak away, but I'm just not that parent. Long story short, as soon as I stepped out of the childcare room my daughter started screaming as if it were the rapture. Her cries make you want to repent for whatever you did last night because it's just that piercing.

Anyway, I wasn't at peace with leaving her there so as I walked down the hallway to go to the mom's event I thought to myself this isn't right. Why is it acceptable to leave my child with someone she doesn't know and expect her to get over it? So I stopped dead in my tracks, turned around and went back to get her. When I arrived the teacher was not holding her nor trying to comfort her. The teacher had passed my daughter off to one of the school age little boys as if he were the teacher. There he was holding my daughter against her will simply because the teacher told him to. HOT MESS! Needless to say, I got my daughter and took her with me to the mom event. As I was walking with my daughter, I got a little tearful and upset that I had ignored my motherly intuition. She shouldn't have been left there. That does not mean that something bad would have happened but the standards for that childcare are not up to my standards. For that reason, I should not have left her. There were about 12 children already in the room and some moms were still in the process of dropping their children off as I was taking my daughter out but I did not care, I was not going to leave my daughter in that room.

Every day parents across the world have to make a decision whether or not to do what other parents are doing. Will my child attend that slumber party? Will I leave them with that sitter? Will I send them to that school? Will I allow my daughter to date that boy? We are bombarded with decisions every day and the question every parent should ask themselves is this...Will I be fearless and follow my instincts or will I do what everyone else is doing? 

Recently I started reading a book titled Protecting the Gift by Gavin De Becker. I love this book because it encourages parents to trust their first thoughts instead of compromising to be polite or accepted. Being a parent, especially a stay-at-home parent is already overwhelming to a certain extent. No one wants to be that parent who looks crazy or unprepared or appears "overprotective," whatever that means.  

When you become a parent, you don't know everything. Our children do not come with an instruction manual  but the one thing that they do come with is a parent. All parents have those "gut-feelings" and intuition, we just need to follow them regardless of what everyone else is doing. 

Follow your instincts when it comes to raising and protecting your children. They have been given to you as a gift no matter how bad they may seem. Trust that God has given you the instincts to protect your children and throw the societal parental norms out of the window. It doesn't matter if it's the school, the neighbors or even your child, when it comes to making a decision don't waiver, don't try to be nice and don't be afraid. As a parent, we need to be okay with what we believe is best for our children. We are their protectors, we are their number one fan and we will forever be their parents. 

Crystal Huskey February 20, 2012 at 05:46 PM
I love this and totally agree with you. I feel that way about the childcare at my gym sometimes. I feel like I shouldn't be overprotective, and I need to work out, but one day I had a feeling in my gut that the women watching over the kids weren't so great. When I came to pick my kids up, my daughter was sitting in the slide bawling her eyes out with a bleeding lip. No one was paying any attention to her. I ran over and asked what happened, and she told me she fell and hurt her lip and nobody helped her. HUGE pit in my stomach, I felt so bad for her. I want her to be strong and brave, BUT, that day I should have trusted my instincts. Every decision as a mother is hard, but if we trusted our gut more, it wouldn't be as difficult.
Katha Blackwell February 21, 2012 at 04:37 AM
That is so true Crystal. If we would just trust that uneasy feeling about the decision we are about to make. I love my children so much and the more I put my gut to work the better things are for them and for my nerves. It's a bold step to go against the grain, but I'm learning that I rather look silly than have something happen to my children that could have been prevented. Thanks for commenting!


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