Marriage: The Priority
Children will eventually grow up and move out, so make your marriage a priority.
Parenting comes with it's ups and downs, but there is nothing like parenting with someone who loves you. The love from your spouse can soothe the most frustrating day and make parenting a great adventure. However, without the proper care and attention, a loving relationship can become dull and boring.
While I was pregnant, one of my co-workers gave me some valuable information. She said, “Katha, once you start having kids, don't forget to spend quality time with your spouse because now that my kids are gone, my husband and I barely know each other.” I could see the disappointment in her face when she said this to me. And I took those words to heart.
Now, three years later, I have a better understanding of what she meant. At least every other night, my son makes his way into our bedroom, whether because he needs to use the potty or he had a bad dream he simply wants to be in our bed. Now as cute as my son is when he's asleep... I miss snuggling with my husband throughout the night.
Initially when our son would come into our room, I thought this is so cute, but as the months and years went on and he kept coming into our room, I realized that this kid isn't leaving. Over time we became accustomed to him sleeping right in middle of the bed, but then we realized this is not acceptable. Although there is nothing wrong with children sleeping in their parent's bed, it can become troublesome if done often.
While embracing parenthood, it is so easy to neglect the relationship we have with our spouses. Parenthood is by far one of the most precious things one will ever experience. Yet having a superb marriage is even more precious because it's the only relationship designed to last forever.
Even at the age of two, I've already told my son that he can live with us as long as he wants until he gets married. Reality is my children will move out some day and the only person who will be in my bed with me is my husband. Now without the proper care of our relationship, we could wake up knowing absolutely nothing about each other.
Although there is an immediate need to spend time with the children, it is of even greater importance to spend time cultivating your marriage. Spend some alone time with your spouse. Within that time make eye contact, talk to each other and by all means show some affection. It's not too late to rekindle those love flames and fall in love with your spouse all over again. So the next time your child jumps into your bed in the middle of the night, give him a kiss and gently redirect him back to his bed. Make your marriage a priority.